Friday, April 02, 2010
Honey taste sweeter than Vinegar.
Havoc happened at work as usual.
Conflict arose, and I swear I played no part in starting it.
Its one of those days when you're happily running the daily work routines, and some sorely unhappy soul approaches you and blasts you with her negative energy.
Words become harsh, and issues become personal. Shit happens, all the time.
So it lit my fuse, and started my dynamite. Kaboom, someone got hurt. Ego wise, not physically. =)
So at least I myself clear that I didn't spark the unhappiness, she just chose a wrong target to blame =)
Its that kind of a situation where women usually lament: "Men are all pigs" , and say it right in the face of a guy.
Or the kind where guys usually assume: "Women are simply gold-diggers" right in the face of a female colleague.
These comments usually are meant to just vent, and perhaps bring about better ego boosting by doing it right in front of the intended party, expecting them to just shun, express disgust, and maybe walk off.
Well, she did it to me, blaming me for her demise on what happened during my OFF day. and she picked the wrong guy to mess with. =)
First, she tried to degrade my qualifications. 2 tries left.
Second, she verbally attacked me in the PANTRY when i was innocently filling up my bottle, by raising her voice at me. Thats 2 items, so no chances left.
You just asked for an Edwin to retaliate verbally. Bad move old girl.
So I began my onslaught back at what she said, with forced courtesy that obviously pissed her off. Next came my series of attacks that caught her dumbfounded. =)
And i brought the whole game to the next level. "The first strike is always the hardest". So i alerted 'management' about my 'assasination' that I tactically fended off in the PANTRY this morning. Office Warfare. Losers Quit.
Then it boiled down to the same old method, the 'Heart to Heart' meeting. and she had to resort to that lousy trick the female species is blessed with. She CRIED.
Old girl cries, young punk made to look like bully. IMMD.
I am the victim here. wow. FML .
And magically, manager popped the desperate question during the meeting.
"So what is your problem now?"
She replies: "I don't know" .
If she didn't know, that means that she didn't have a valid agenda to justify her verbal assault.
With no justification, it meant that she was merely venting.
So, why me, old girl. Do i LooK docile and bulliable?
Again, wrong move old girl. =)
Eventually, the meeting came to an 'amicable' closing. Yeah right.
Usually, the losing party will either concede, or refuse to accept fact, and decide to enter this hyper-delusional state whereby they tell themselves :'I have seen the light'.
Yeah right, the light that shines through from an open window. How bout you embrace it by jumping spreading your wings out of the window?
Miracles happen.
She was asked to help out outside today.
And she came in, with the ultimate smug of someone who swapped sides.
Not genuinely enjoying the 'other side' but just happy that she's not doing the old stuff.
''I loved it outside, its so much more fun than staying in here" .
Wow. That was fast. She just spilled her passion about working behind the scenes to us 2 days ago.
well, winner in loser out. thats an ole rule aint' it?
Posted at 12:49 AM
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
answers
my gift, my curse
i always get my answers. to questions that i pose myself with.
eventually, answers become natural. they come naturally with time.
it comes in forms, it can come in ways as well.
it may require self discovery, and sometimes, it throws itself at you.
it may occur as accident, or coincidence. but eventually it comes.
it usually is not what you want, or its not real.
it provides peace of mind, but it brings pain at times.
so.
right now,
i need to know when my answer will come.
how my answer will come.
where will my answer come from.
what will my answer be.
how will my answer be.
answer.
are you there ?
Posted at 7:42 AM
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Crossroad
here i am, once again, at the exact spot in my mind and decision making matrix, behold the mental crossroad.
the lone street sign here says "side with him", "side with her", "be edwin and side no one", and "don't care".
and as usual, i take the route towards 'be edwin and side no one' . ha. i really am who i am eh. .
inside, i can already see the images of what could have exactly happened if i really got the two of them to talk things out right in front of me. and me mediating the situation. should i? i don't know. why should i? i don't know either.
knew him for 9 long years, seen this scene umpteen times. and lost a few friends umpteen times along the way. what more can i say? he's my friend. someone i'm proud to know of. or maybe, not so proud anymore... am i finally wavering? i guess so. someone has decided to bear my curse of being clouded by loyalty and righteouness, which can fail your sight towards so many things.
she was a new friend. but we'll prolly have to erase her soon. and she'll become the next hush hush topic. kinda sad huh? well, i've lived well with it.
thru so many times, so many replays, so many repeats then i realise the truth. not exactly the sharpest of minds i have right? prolly loyalty and righteousness have blinded me deep and long enough. getting rid of these two, have never felt better.
i see the light now. have u?
if u cannot make any sense out of what i'm rambling about, good. cuz its meant for only those who have seen the light in the situation. the countless repeats i've seen, so bad its enough for me to lose faith in my friend whom i'm referring to. sorry L, you are losing me soon.
we'll always be friends tho, we have been for the last few years. if you see this, don't get me wrong, remember, I side no one.
Posted at 10:28 PM
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
passive abilities
dreams. are my reality.
i dreamt of something weird. really weird.
i was sitting in a cold place, built out of carved ice, as i vividly rememeber. strangely i felt relieved and safe in that place. i then reached out to touch the walls, and they shone with a faint glow. play too much games?
then i had this urge to look out of the window (which was a nicely shaped hole big enough with a ledge to sit on), and gazed upon a beautiful night sky. it wasn't exactly the starry sky scene. it was more of a sky with grey clouds, yet at the same time stars were present. the stars faintly glowed at random..
then i sat down on the ledge, and i saw the coolest thing in my "room", i had a mini pool.. but not for swimming kind.. it was a small water body... and the water didn't look drinkable.. it was this clear liquid that reflected your image juz like a mirror... and i saw my reflection... i had white hair, and white lips.. so scary rite? and my eyes had this strange light around it...
then .. i woke up.. !!
think i going crazy ar..
Posted at 9:53 PM
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
blurg...
gr8! i'm blogging at work... simply cuz i'm swarmed with stuff beyond what i'm paid for!
ain't it fantastic! edwin is such a gr8! wurker! come'on, give him all the small nitty gritty stuff not worth your attention and let him handle it! he'll process it at machine fast lightning speed and zip zap its done!
this moral war is so annoying! arrgh!.. so should i perform here or not? part of me says i should pour heart and soul into what i'm doing, the "zo -sui sui" attitude, but if you put it on the scales with career prospects and the "reality factors (pay, career)", the scales will be tipped towards the reality side...
but asking me to not"zo-sui sui" is somewhat sickening... can't stand the idea of "knowing wad went wrong and choose to live with it".. its so NS.. arrgh...
but then again, when you're involved in all the "beyond jobscope" stuff again.. the warped thought of "$7.4 per hour" juz keeps haunting you!.. then things like "lousy benefits", "second class employee", "no prospects", bah the list can go on and on and on.. and on..
damn, getting 1k+ is kinda not enough for spending comfortably... and capella still owes me my pay... gr8...
Posted at 8:35 PM
Sunday, October 18, 2009
please don't stop the rain
Motivation really comes randomly ..
Just a simple song in yi xiang's car, and it really made my day..
Please don't the rain, by james morrison.. wow.. powerful .. (IMMD! It - Made - My - Day!)
decided to change ... after being down for so long... the old Edwin has gotta appear.. somehow..
gotta start smiling.. gotta start talking.. gotta end the spiral..
new attitude.. awesome ain't it? well, not exactly new la.. its juz the want to be me again..
wanted to change .. but guess i juz can't .. its an Edwin thing.. what ever may come.. take it.. head on!
Posted at 7:56 AM
Sunday, May 31, 2009
I'm only a man looking for a dream
Great taipei trip.. had all squeals and fun everyday.. simply perfect...
a lil disappointed that didn't buy clothes though..
Next stop, Langkawi! plans to celebrate bday there wid July babies like Lennard..
At least I have a plan now. haha.
Things just settled down a bit more, slightly stable life now.. less turbulence..
at least smiles during the day aren't exactly forced... simply hate to do it sometimes..
wow.. heard the Five for fighting song "Superman", today... so nostalgic..
brings back the days when you work or study till damn late, and you finally knock off... sits at the bus stop, staring at the late night traffic pass by, and then you tell yourself.. 'enough for the day' ...
anyway.. cool quote i saw back in new zealand:
"as the area of light increases, so does the circumference of darkness"
einstein.
somehow, i feel this quote. do you?
Posted at 9:04 AM